“It’s not about you or me in a romantic relationship. It all comes down to us. “There is no partnership without the “us,”. Regrettably, this is not the case for every relationship. Relationships can be built on rudeness, disdain, and a lack of affect. Unhealthy relationships are those in which two people are in a relationship that is harmful to both of them. These types of partnerships have two benefits, such as the wisdom and strength gained after ending a unhealthy relationship, and four drawbacks, such as shame, low self-esteem, humiliation and criticism.

There are two major benefits associated with unhealthy relationships. One of the benefits of being in a unhealthy relationship is the wisdom you receive. This is arguably the most important life lesson you will ever learn, because after breaking up with someone who would demean you as a person, you will have learned about self-appreciation and that you are deserving of better. Another possible benefit is that you will feel stronger after you have successfully exited a unhealthy relationship. To face your unhealthy partner and put a stop to the relationship, you’ll need a lot of courage. This is why many people believe they are strong and ready to deal with any future relationship.

Unhealthy relationships, on the other hand, have four major drawbacks. To begin with, in a unhealthy relationship, humiliation is a typical occurrence. When a couple goes to a party, for example, one of the partners begins to discuss their marital troubles in front of others or just mocks the other’s clothing. Having poor self-esteem is also an element of this type of relationship. Some people have a way of making you feel emotionally and spiritually shattered. Finally, unrelenting criticism is an unavoidable issue. Everything is scrutinised, from the way you comb your hair to the type of friends you have. 

If you  recognise any of these indications in yourself, your spouse, or the relationship itself then that’s the time when you should end your relationship- 


Most of your talks are filled with sarcasm, criticism, or overt antagonism, rather than treating each other with kindness. You might even start avoiding each other’s company.


While envy is natural from time to time, it can become a problem if you can’t seem to think or feel favourably about their achievement.


Controlling behaviour, such as constantly questioning where you are or growing enraged when you don’t respond to texts right away, can add unhealthy patterns of behaviours in a relationship.


When you’re in a unhealthy relationship, you may neglect your typical self-care routines. You might stop doing things you used to enjoy, disregard your health, and give up your leisure time.


Holding grudges and allowing them to fester erodes relationships. Frustration or anger can build up over time, causing a tiny chasm to become much larger.


Dependence can take many forms, including as relying on you for resources like time, money, or attention. While being in a relationship implies a bond, you should both feel comfortable as individuals.

You might even be worried that you won’t be able to keep healthy relationships going in the future. However, this is not the case: we all deserve healthy relationships, and we can all enhance our relationship skills. Accepting responsibility for earlier unhealthy behaviours can be challenging, but it can also give hope. Facing your history is a brave first step toward a happier and healthier future.


  • Dr. Bhavna Barmi

    Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Therapist

    Happiness Studio

    Dr. Bhavna Barmi is an internationally renowned child and clinical psychologist with over 25 years of practice. Dr. Barmi has worked with over 1 lakh clients, both individuals and families, successfully advising them on personality growth, relationships management, clinical concerns, self-esteem issues. Her expertise ranges from being a relationship expert, to NLP and hypnotherapy. She is the founder of Happiness Studios-Center for Psychological and Psychiatric Well-Being and the co-founder of PsyCare - A Neuropsychiatry Hospital. Dr Barmi is associated as a senior clinical psychologist with the Fortis Escorts Heart Institute, New Delhi. Recognising her immense contribution and service, Dr Barmi has been bestowed with many prestigious awards including the Gold Medal Award for Excellence in the field of Psychology, EPA Award (European Psychiatric Association) and Starstell Award for best practices in Psychology. She is the Associate Editor: The Heart of the Matter, Journal of Prevention and Holistic Management. Dr Barmi also lends her expertise to both print and digital media as a respected expert on psychological consultation.