Faith and Fear do not co-exist, you either live with faith or in fear.
-Meher
This is a subject I have been researching on for a long time, within myself, observing people around me and from books and experiences I read. It is a topic that needs a lot of experience share to encourage fellow humans alleviate the pain inside them.
Do we live with Faith or in Fear?
To evaluate how we live, we must know what they actually mean.
Faith means- belief, firm persuasion, assurance, firm conviction, faithfulness. Faith is confidence in what we hope for and the assurance that the lord is working, even though we cannot see it. Faith knows that no matter what the situation, in our lives that the lord is working in it. Faith is a belief that a higher power is working in our favor. Faith is complete surrender to the part of yourself that is in alignment with the source.
Fear is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. Living with feelings that causes dread or apprehension. Fears are derived from multiple beliefs created in childhood at the time of our subconscious programming.
We are born with only two fears, the fear of falling from great height and the fear of a loud noise. Besides this, all other fears are either programmed at early age or an illusion of the mind.
How to make the shift from Fear to Faith?
Since I remember me, I have lived in faith because my subconscious programing by my parents and my surrounding . My parents live with unwavering faith. However, I was challenged at every moment in life after I got married, and I felt fear, fear had paralyzed me in every way.
My husband, Anand, and I had a short but sweet courtship and a perfect few months, and then the reality hit. It was nothing like I had imagined. Marriage was nothing like it was meant to be. It seemed like we got married too young. We didn’t have the time to know ourselves let alone knowing one another. I got married within eighteen months of graduating from university. The transition from being a child to being married and living as a couple with the in-laws and serving them was too huge for me to handle. At twenty-two years I was at the peak of my life—full of love, enthusiasm, and excitement. I was not ready to take any responsibility.
Before I got married, I had started my fashion brand Meher & Riddhima and had a vision for it. But after I got married, it was extremely challenging for me to work as my expected first priority was to take care of the household with my mother-in- law. Though my mother-in-law has been my biggest supporter, my inexperience and lack of knowledge of myself, along with short courtship I had with Anand, made me suffer in my head.
While the families were on good terms with each other, they did a business transaction, which went bitter after a few years when the recession hit in 2008. I did my best to involve myself and help solve the situation, but nothing worked.
The conflict between my father and my husband was the most challenging and devastating part of my journey. The pain paralyzed me in every way. I couldn’t feel anything—no joy, no pain; nothing excited me. I was so dead inside. The rosy picture that I had painted based on my beliefs of a loving life had come to an end.
Because of my programing I didn’t give up and actually surrendered completely. I kept offering the best and doing my best to live each day with faith and I let go of trying to control the outcome. Then, 5 years ago, I started receiving messages to grow myself. The four aspects below helped me to transform my fear into faith again.
1. Alignment to the source – I started meditating to connect to my inner self to connect to the source, I wanted to feel the bliss, transcendence and glory of life in its purest form. To do this I had to go within. I had never meditated before and I started with sitting in silence from 5 mins to 15 mins, 30 mins and then 60 mins. Now I can go upto 90 mins at a time.
2. Let go of the Ego – Ego is much deeper than we think, it exists within us. It exists when we believe we control the outcome; it exists when we feel someone doesn’t know “me” or when we feel they don’t recognize/appreciate or love me for who “I” am. “I” is the ego that exists within us. When we feel “I’ am something or nothing. Ego must be understood to prevent it from harming ourself. While we cannot completely separate it from us, we must not let it unconsciously sabotage us.
3. Victim mentality – A victim mentality or belief is actually a way to avoid taking any responsibility for yourself or your life. By believing that you have no power, you don’t take action. It is when you blame your circumstances and people around you for your challenges that make your pain justified. You blame someone or the other for everything that is wrong in your life; however, this is also more in your head than in reality. You see the negative effect of every challenging situation not the positive. I started seeing the positive in each negative event, situation and person around me. This was a liberating experience. When you start seeing the greater good in everything that is happening to you, you shift.
4. Forgive yourself and others – This is one of the most powerful exercises to do. I have been on a forgiveness journey where for 30 days every single day I forgave myself and everyone I felt hurt me in some way. Forgiveness is a voluntary internal process of letting go of feelings and thoughts of resentment, bitterness, anger, and the need for vengeance and retribution toward someone who we believe has wronged us, including ourselves. This is something we may need to consistently practice to support our evolution.
Life is a process of becoming a better version of our selves every single day and the above four practices really helped me shifting my energy from fear to faith. Please feel free to reach out for any experience share!
Love
Meher