If we live in the energy of the past, we will never be able to change our future.
—Meher
Let me share my perspective and understanding of expectations. We have all grown up to believe that love is a process that completes us when we love another, and they love us back as per our expectations. This is purely to fulfil our inadequacies we hold. If there is something missing in your life, it is you. There was nothing missing in my life except me. I had everything I could dream of, but I was not accepting and loving myself for who I was, because I was expecting it from my spouse/partner and hence I could not feel the love I was receiving from the universe.
I got married at the age of twenty-three and, my expectations from life and my partner were created by the beliefs of a Disney movie that I was unable to dissolve. Everything in my life after marriage was not what I had expected. At thirty-one years, I felt my life was over. I was predicting my future based on my past. The twelve years of my life from age twenty-three to thirty-five were extremely challenging. From relationships to my business and to myself, nothing was as per my expectations. I was at my lowest point. Life seemed unfair; I felt like a victim, which made me predict my future. Though I had the hope of a better future, I couldn’t see it and always lived in the future, unaware of the present. I was not doing anything to change my reality, energy, and thoughts. I was ignorant, and as a result, I always lived in pain, the pain of expecting someone else to fix my life.
Why did my expectations shatter me?
As a child I was loved beyond measure and protected. My parents called me princess all my life and treated me like one. My expectation of being treated like a princess, given the love I had experienced in my childhood. When you receive such love and attention all your life then you believe this kind of love from another to be normal and it creates beliefs in you.
Beliefs are created based on our experiences or the experiences and comments of family members either in our growing years or even earlier. And since the subconscious mind is absorbing and open till age seven, they straight go to the subconscious mind. And as we know the subconscious mind is about 95 percent of our brain.
I was married at an early age, and came into the marriage with a lot of beliefs of expectations, I was unable to transit into the new phase of my life which was of a married women responsible for a family and household. My expectation of receiving the same love and attention as i did in my childhood from my parents didn’t serve me in adulthood. It’s a natural process of life; you are supposed to grow up and not expect the same from your husband as you become the mother (metaphorically) and it’s then its your responsibility to give that love. It was very challenging for me to adjust to the understanding that my husband is not meant to give me the same love as my parents.
The beliefs can be passed on generation to generation, like genes. The truth is beliefs are unconsciously passed on, and when you choose to understand and accept it, then you can work to break the chain.
How did I work to dissolve the belief of expectation?
Once I understood this I reprogrammed it to “I love, live, and give with no expectations from another,” but of course this expectation was also derived from the core belief of not loving myself. So I had to work on both simultaneously. Reprogramming of the beliefs can be done in a few different ways, we need to get to the subconscious mind to reprogram the beliefs so it is a process which needs to be followed consistently and daily
– Guided Meditation
– Repetition and Practice
– Journaling (gratitude and Forgiveness)
– Learning and Reading
– Affirmations and Manifestations
The realization that we need to be free from expectations of another and take responsibility of our life is transformational. We need to learn to prioritize and nurture ourselves, strength ourselves to grow and learn to receive the life we desire
When we release the beliefs of expectations, we become free. Freedom is the ability, the courage, and the drive to be better every single day, to work on evolving our soul. This has nothing to do with anyone else; it is related to the feeling and faith inside you. Release yourself from beliefs of expectations and grow yourself beyond what you have imagined!
More information on the above can be found in my book Come Alive, don’t just exist (available on amazon) and on my website www.mehermirchandani.com