If we live in the energy of the past, we will never be able to change our future.


Let me share my perspective and understanding of expectations. We have all grown up to believe that love is a process that completes us when we love another, and they love us back as per our expectations. This is purely to fulfil our inadequacies we hold. If there is something missing in your life, it is you. There was nothing missing in my life except me. I had everything I could dream of, but I was not accepting and loving myself for who I was, because I was expecting it from my spouse/partner and hence I could not feel the love I was receiving from the universe.

I got married at the age of twenty-three and, my expectations from life and my partner were created by the beliefs of a Disney movie that I was unable to dissolve. Everything in my life after marriage was not what I had expected. At thirty-one years, I felt my life was over. I was predicting my future based on my past. The twelve years of my life from age twenty-three to thirty-five were extremely challenging. From relationships to my business and to myself, nothing was as per my expectations. I was at my lowest point. Life seemed unfair; I felt like a victim, which made me predict my future. Though I had the hope of a better future, I couldn’t see it and always lived in the future, unaware of the present. I was not doing anything to change my reality, energy, and thoughts. I was ignorant, and as a result, I always lived in pain, the pain of expecting someone else to fix my life.

Why did my expectations shatter me? 

As a child I was loved beyond measure and protected. My parents called me princess all my life and treated me like one. My expectation of being treated like a princess, given the love I had experienced in my childhood. When you receive such love and attention all your life then you believe this kind of love from another to be normal and it creates beliefs in you. 

Beliefs are created based on our experiences or the experiences and comments of family members either in our growing years or even earlier. And since the subconscious mind is absorbing and open till age seven, they straight go to the subconscious mind. And as we know the subconscious mind is about 95 percent of our brain.

I was married at an early age, and came into the marriage with a lot of beliefs of expectations, I was unable to transit into the new phase of my life which was of a married women responsible for a family and household. My expectation of receiving the same love and attention as i did in my childhood from my parents didn’t serve me in adulthood. It’s a natural process of life; you are supposed to grow up and not expect the same from your husband as you become the mother (metaphorically) and it’s then its your responsibility to give that love. It was very challenging for me to adjust to the understanding that my husband is not meant to give me the same love as my parents.

The beliefs can be passed on generation to generation, like genes. The truth is beliefs are unconsciously passed on, and when you choose to understand and accept it, then you can work to break the chain.

How did I work to dissolve the belief of expectation? 

Once I understood this I reprogrammed it to “I love, live, and give with no expectations from another,” but of course this expectation was also derived from the core belief of not loving myself. So I had to work on both simultaneously. Reprogramming of the beliefs can be done in a few different ways, we need to get to the subconscious mind to reprogram the beliefs so it is a process which needs to be followed consistently and daily 

–   Guided Meditation

–   Repetition and Practice

–   Journaling (gratitude and Forgiveness)

–   Learning and Reading

–   Affirmations and Manifestations

The realization that we need to be free from expectations of another and take responsibility of our life is transformational. We need to learn to prioritize and nurture ourselves, strength ourselves to grow and learn to receive the life we desire

When we release the beliefs of expectations, we become free. Freedom is the ability, the courage, and the drive to be better every single day, to work on evolving our soul. This has nothing to do with anyone else; it is related to the feeling and faith inside you. Release yourself from beliefs of expectations and grow yourself beyond what you have imagined!

More information on the above can be found in my book Come Alive, don’t just exist (available on amazon) and on my website www.mehermirchandani.com 


  • Meher Mirchandani


    Manrre Logistics Fund

    An award-winning entrepreneur, healer, and coach, Meher is the Director of Manrre Logistics Fund and  Managing Director of Palmon Group. She is a maven who balances her various roles with equal ease and  persistent hard work—whether it is that of a business leader, decision maker, wife, daughter, or a devoted  mother to her twin daughters.   An inherently empathetic leader, she is a source of inspiration for her core team of leaders and leads by  focusing on conscious leadership based on her personal and her company’s values. As one of the Forbes top  Indian leaders, Meher believes that culture is the cornerstone of an organization, and she is responsible for  creating and building a culture with a growth mindset at Palmon and Manrre that empowers leaders to be  their best on all fronts of their lives.   Her leadership principle is “Success is something you attract by the person you become. It is your  dedication to consistently grow yourself that will yield you the life you desire.” Her personal journey has  brought about a breakthrough and transformation in her, which she shares in her first book ‘Come Alive’.  Come Alive addresses the answer to the question, ‘Are you truly Alive’?   Her book uncovers that there is nothing missing in life and that you are enough and limitless! It helps you  understand that you are complete. It sheds light on the fact that the relationship we have with ourselves is  what determines the quality of every other relationship in our life. Her journey concludes, that the feeling  of something missing is nothing else but the connection with ourself.  Through this book, the author guides you to know, nurture, appreciate, and fall in love with yourself.  Her five-phase process will lead you to prioritize yourself, love yourself and ultimately come alive. Being  alive is being in love with yourself for who you are.  Her mission is to evoke the transformation in you, so you honor and celebrate yourself for who you are! [email protected] www.mehermirchandani.com comealivewithmeher